Click Gazette

The relationship isn't working.

The relationship isn't working.

(and ADHD gets all the blame)

I know ADHDers who blame themselves for struggle.

Because they have ADHD.

Must be their fault, right?

Wrong.

Here's the pre-breakup audit that changes the angle:

➡️ The ADHD Check:

• Do other relationships work fine?
• Are you thriving elsewhere in life?
• Did these "flaws" exist before them?

➡️ The Compatibility Check:

• Do they accept your coping strategies?
• Are your needs "too much" for them?
• Do they research ADHD themselves?

➡️ The Accountability Check:

• Where's their growth edge?
• What patterns existed before you?
• Which issues would exist without ADHD?

➡️ The Energy Check:

• Who initiates repair after conflicts?
• Who does the emotional labor?
• Who's always adjusting?

ADHD explains differences.
Not every failed connection.

*ADHDers saving this to wave in someone's face later 🤭

Applause now, burnout later.

Applause now, burnout later.

Is that the deal for ADHDers at work?

ADHDers tend to do this at work all the time.

Try to seem more “together“.

Do you script updates to look calm? Better prepared?

Do you hide tabs, mute the fidget, smile?

Then during the performance review you get:

Applause for poise.

For structure.

Your calm.

Do these mean more than impact?

🤔 I'm wondering what's on your receipt for that.

Headaches?
3 a.m. emails?
Weekend wipeouts?

I'm wondering what if we eased up, like unmask at 5%.

→ Maybe work from your visual tracker today.
→ Or say, “I process out loud, just hear me out.”
→ Or even take a call in a room and not your desk.

What you contribute already counts.

You don't get an A+ for following job success tips.

You don't get an A+ for following job success tips.

(they didn't have ADHDers in mind)

Here's the thing right:

These tips work brilliantly.

If you process urgency, time, and motivation the way the tips expect.

Following work success advice with ADHD be like:

Tip: Dress for the job you want.
ADHDer: Judging from my outfit, I want to be:
Director of Mismatched Socks & Every Color.

Tip: Eat the frog first thing in the morning.
ADHDer: I've been staring at that frog for 3 hours.
He's part of the family now.

Tip: Time block your calendar.
ADHDer: I did.
And time-traveled past every single block.

Tip: Take regular breaks to recharge.
ADHDer: Took a break.
Reorganized the supplies cupboard.

Tip: Morning routines set you up for success.
ADHDer: Mine is finding phone, keys, and the will to move.
In that order.

Tip: Use a planner to stay organized.
ADHDer: I have 6 planners.
None of them know about each other.

Tip: Single-task for better productivity.
ADHDer: I'm writing an email, planning a project
... and solving world hunger in my head.

Tip: Set boundaries with your time.
ADHDer: Time is a social construct I don't understand.

Tip: Reply to emails within 24 hours.
ADHDer: I saw it. I'll respond.
But first, existential dread about what to say.

No amount of "just try harder" changes ADHD wiring.

Typical job advice is the wrong size.

To all of you who won't engage with this post.

To all of you who won't engage with this post.

(But wish you could)

I get it, if you resonate but scroll past.

Because engaging feels like outing yourself.

I hear this from late-identified ADHDers daily.

You realised about your ADHD as an adult.

And you want understanding.

You want to stop pretending.

But disclosure feels like professional self-sabotage.

That "everyone's a little ADHD" comment?
→It taught you to stay quiet.

That meeting where a peer called ADHD an excuse?
→You remembered.

I keep posting about ADHD on here 3x a week.

And I wanted you to know that ⬇️

This advocacy includes you.
Especially you.

I like to think that every post chips away at stigma.
Every conversation normalizes difference.
Even the ones you witness silently.

You don't need to be visible to be valid.

P.S. 92% of us worry about coworkers finding out.

Not all ADHD coping is masking.

Not all ADHD coping is masking.

(but we're treating them the same)

I used to see my co-founder skills as "fake."

Just pretending to get it.

I rejected real skills I'd built.

Skills that genuinely helped me.

Yes, they took more effort to develop.

Yes, neurotypicals learn them easier.

But that doesn't make them fake.

Learning copywriting? Real skill.

AI-powered ADHD coaching? Real.

Wearing a marketing hat for viberie? Real.

Masking is hiding who you are.

Skill-building is growing who you are.

One depletes you. The other serves you.

When ADHDers call everything masking, we throw away a whole toolkit.

Your skills are real, even if they came harder.

Last-minute Halloween costume ideas.

Last-minute Halloween costume ideas.

ADHD edition 👻

Tell me which one is it?

You either forgot it was today.

Or you've been planning your outfit since June.

The first you say?

I've got you.

🎃 For Halloween this year, dress as:

→ Your phone at 2% battery
→ An impulse buy, still in the box
→ An audiobook you restarted 6 times
→ All the hobbies you started since May
→ A human lost & found of random items
→ A human notification badge (837 unread)

May your dopamine be plentiful today.

I waited this long for the wrong help.

I waited this long for the wrong help.

(no, I didn't look in the wrong places)

This summer I got my ADHD diagnosis.

At 39, everything clicked.

So I went looking for support.

💜 Here's what I was hoping to find:

→ Help now, not 3 years from now
→ Safe space to figure out who I am
→ Coaching that gets adult ADHDers

→ Tools based on current neuroscience
→ Personalised to what I like, not generic
→ Iterative, because we change and grow

→ Support that doesn't run out, or cap out
→ Support designed for ADHDers, not fixes
→ No shame, judgment or masking required

😔 Can you guess what I found instead?

→ Multi-year waiting lists.
→ Unaffordable coaching.
→ Neurotypical tips, fixes.

So I've gone all in.

Building it myself.

With my husband.

For every 39-year-old who just found out.

And every late-identified ADHDer.
Who didn't get that support.
Or even any help at all.

The right ADHD support doesn't ask you to change first.

I wish for better ADHD support at work.

I wish for better ADHD support at work.

(it won't mean lowering performance standards)

As a late-identified ADHDer, I pushed through work.

Unaccommodated.

Then burnout forced me to stop.

So I am sharing what helps ADHDers at work:

➡️Clear priorities
➡️Comprehensive deadlines
➡️Written agendas before meetings

Because ever stared at 6 urgent requests in panic?

➡️Quiet work zones
➡️Meeting recaps sent in writing
➡️Permission to say "I need time to think"

Because who else feels the office is a sensory nightmare?

➡️Check-ins that aren't performance reviews
➡️Help prioritising when everything feels urgent
➡️Reminders that you're doing a great job

Because how often do you leave a 1:1 wondering if you are doing well?

Small shifts like these help us use our strengths.

ADHDers don't ask for help.

We overcompensate until we can't.

P.S. I can't be convinced these won't help everyone 🤔

Can we admit the ADHD debate is cruel?

Can we admit the ADHD debate is cruel?

(or do we keep questioning ourselves?)

Does anyone remember sitting in a clinician's office, finally vulnerable enough to share your struggles, only to hear "everyone feels that way sometimes" or "you need to try harder"?

If you've heard this enough times, you're dealing with exhaustion from medical dismissals that flood your attempts to get help.

As "medical gaslighting" becomes common language, people are pushing back.
We're "undiagnosing" ourselves from years of being defined in the wrong ways.
And finally naming what was actually there: ADHD.

😿 We've reached peak diagnostic dismissal.
Late-identified ADHDers tell me they saw multiple clinicians before someone listened.
Research shows 75% of adults with ADHD were never diagnosed in childhood.

That's not because ADHD suddenly appeared.

And mind you most psychiatrists receive little to no training in adult ADHD during their residency or continuing education.

The diagnostic system was built for hyperactive 8-year-old boys, not adults who've spent decades compensating.

When ADHDers don't conform with the misdiagnoses, we're reclaiming our narrative.
It's a radical act of self-trust.

Does that sound familiar?

Medical authority used to signal care.
Now even well-meaning clinicians can gaslight you without realizing it.
Think of the endless "everyone struggles with focus sometimes."

🍀What does recovery actually look like?

You spent years fitting their explanations.
Now you're learning to trust your own.

The next evolution of care is shame-free.
Support that meets you where you are.

That's why I see Viberie as limitless, personalized coaching based on neuroscience and your strengths, not some preset neurotypical flow.

Let your experience carry the authority.
If every professional's opinion disappeared tomorrow, would you still know your brain is different?
That's self-trust.

🤔What labels have you been carrying that don't fit?

And I'm not saying ADHDers should reject all medical input.
The goal isn't to distrust everyone. It's to trust yourself first.
And the challenge is knowing which voices to trust.

→ That might mean finding practitioners who listen first.
→ Or leaning into peer support where lived experience is the credential.

We want care that's quiet enough to hear you.
Clinicians who listen before they label.

The next era of ADHD support won't be about who has the most letters after their name, but who creates the most space for your truth.

P.S. This is a long one and potentially lost you many paragraphs ago, but felt like sharing 🥹

Success can be a really good disguise.

Success can be a really good disguise.

Are you starting to fade underneath?

May late-identified ADHDers get this.

People would praise my life from the outside.

But I was exhausted. Hollowed out really.

I'd spent decades learning to:

😿Mirror energy I didn't have
😿Meet standards that weren't mine
😿Suppress needs I didn't know were valid

Two burnouts later, I finally got it:

I really was successful...

At being someone else.

Every mask we wore is proof we once knew who we were.

What if the work is finding that self?

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